I’ve been reviewing some local writers workshops and events in New England today, and I learned a couple of things.

First, as has been mentioned here and elsewhere, these places are great for meeting editors and even publishers if you can get to them. They’re always there, gaining you a potential opening to the “no unagented submissions” rule. At worst, you’d have someone’s name to which you can send your manuscript.

Second, no surprise, there are a TON of agents present at any one of them. Agent this, agent that, etc.

Then, confirming the analyses in this post and comments, many (if not most) of those agents are former editors.

Finally, are the way their bios are written. They almost always start with something like:

“Jeremy has been an editor at Tor books for more than ten years, during which he worked on this, that and the other thing. This experience gives him the knowledge that he uses to understand the industry. In the spring of 2009, he started his own literary agency….”

That’s off the top of my head, but it’s not that far off.

Another thing I notice is that the editors, publishers, and writers list their credentials in their title, e.g.:

Joseph J. Jones
Senior Editor, Bantam Books
http://www.thisisafakeaddress.com

The agents often leave all of that out, in favor of just their name, followed by the spiel I listed above.

This is not a cut and dry rule, and I have no idea how many of the agent names I saw were high-end agents (though I did see one from William Morris), but it jumps off the website as a red flag to me.

It seems to me that those bios play directly into this myth. “I’ve been working in the industry for a long time, so I have a ton of contacts, and I know how things work. As a result, you don’t have to worry; you needn’t learn any of that. Just sign with me, and I’ll take care of all of it.”

Sounds a lot like a pitch from Satan when he’s trying to buy your soul.

DISCLAIMER: I do not assert that any literary agent is Satan, or is affiliated with Satan in any way. I’m merely saying that my second bio example oozes with the feeling that makes my skin crawl, and if you read carefully, you can see that second pitch in the first.

But I’m not sure that means it’s not why they do it. I think that many agents genuinely believe that they can pick the next big thing because they have their finger on the pulse of the market and the world. Otherwise, I couldn’t see them wasting all that energy for no revenue.

But you are right about how many of them work for the power since that translates into money for them, if they work it right.

First, it gives them the possibility of gaining an exclusive over the next Stephenie Meyer. If they can read the books before the publishers, they can control the outcome of that breakout novel, and corner the market. But that’s perhaps secondary, because it is dependent on number two.

The more likely reason they like this arrangement is because it gives them power and prestige, which are better than money to most people. They get to make or break new authors, some playfully reveling in that on their blogs. They also get to go to writers’ conferences and be revered by the authors present, much like Alice Cooper in Wayne’s World. Basically, they have the whole author community falling at their feet, and they get to pick and choose. And if they work hard enough at picking up and putting down writers, they might just find the next Harry Potter. And that would be a home run for them, of course.

I don’t know the industry intimately, but if I were an agent, those would definitely be the two draws for me.

Of course, in my best “people are basically good” voice, I would say that most of these agents generally do love books and love being a part of the process of developing them. I wouldn’t go so far as to say they are all money grubbing devils out to wreck people’s hopes and dreams.

But, you have a valid point. I think I agree that the current system can’t sustain itself and will fall apart eventually. What will replace it may be just as bad or worse, but the effort may not be worth it to set up the temp agency. It just seemed if it isn’t that hard to become an agent, it may not really be that much bother, and get your foot in the door.

As to the risk, that may be another issue. I’m guessing the risk would be if they discovered the agency was just a “front” for the author, they might blacklist you among other publishers?

Personally, I’m not inclined to deception, so I like your take on it, but still it seemed it would be a pretty easy way to get around the requirement, the means to get past the closed door, so to speak, and find that transom to slide it through.

I wonder why publishers don’t simply have submission and reading times? Say, they only take submissions through a PO box during certain months, and at any other time anything that comes gets thrown right into the trash without even leaving the post office. That would be one sure-fire way to cut down on the number of submissions, I would think. And give time for reading and proper responses to those who follow the guidelines.

What is surprising is why agents agreed to this model. After all, as you’ve pointed out, they don’t make any money doing this slush reading gig. People used to get paid by the publisher to do this, but now they do it for free. It even lowers their paycheck because they have less time to do what earns them money, negotiate contracts. It seems not only the author’s have suffered under this system, but also the good agents who may have ended up spending their time doing slush reading for the publishers. What a freebie for the publishers! No wonder they like it.

And, there is another way publishers can cut cost of slush reading, which appears to be the warehousing space needed to store these manuscripts. E-subs. No warehouse space needed, and one good disk can store thousands of manuscripts. If they simply moved from snail-mail submissions to totally electronic submissions, they would save a ton of money and time.

Maybe if the agents revolt on this enough by simply refusing to do slush reading for free for the publisher when they really should be working for the author, maybe the publishers would be forced to look to alternate methods like these to cut cost. Some of them are overdue, I think.

And it is always a good practice to be completely honest with editors and publishers.

Just seems like too much work to me for no real return and a silly risk.

Since becoming an agent is so easy (get stationary and business cards, and BOOM, you are one, yes?) why not do the following?

Get a friend to “hang out a shingle” as an agent and have him send in your manuscript as an agent. You can write the cover letter, query, synopsis, etc., and do the work, but he’d send it from his address. When the time comes to actually negotiate the contract should they accept, the “agent” could allow you to tell him/her what to ask for if you feel comfortable, or you could hire out a IP lawyer as representing the agency.

Then buy your friend a dinner for his help. But at least you shouldn’t get the “we don’t accept any unagented manuscript” rejections, and maybe ensure it will get a fair reading eventually.

What’s to prevent anyone from doing that? Seems it would work.

Possibly, maybe – before I am 97, I’ll do some business for myself the way I have in all other aspects of my life . . . I made that promise to myself about 2 years ago, so I have 3 years more to go on this five-year plan.

Which is another way of saying this lot did occur to me as well and what do I know???