Dec 30 2009
Motivation #9. Fear
One day before the new year fires up a fresh start. Actually, if you have read all the previous posts about goals, you should be thinking that the beginning of every week fires up a fresh start. Keep everything always starting over, remember, that way when you miss, you just start over and all is fresh, with a short term goal for that week.
And then those goals add right up by the end of the year. Got all that figured, right? Read all the previous posts on goals? Do so before going any farther on this one, otherwise this will sound very confusing at times. Much more confusing than I normally sound.
So, right to the big elephant sitting in the room:
Fear.
Yup, fear is a huge monster sitting in your office, between your ears, and will make you do really, really stupid things unless you can clear it out every so often and think clearly.
So where does fear come into writing and publishing and aiming at your long term dreams? Simply everywhere.
Fear has the focused goal to stop you. And it will, all the time, in many, many ways.
No real logical place to start talking about fear in writing, since it is in all aspects of writing and the business, so I’m just going to toss out examples using Heinlein’s Rules as a guide and see where this all leads.
Example: You are excited about your book or story idea, have spent a few weeks being successful at your goals of getting to your writing, and then one day you wake up and the book seems like crap, you are convinced you are wasting your time, and that you should start something fresh.
Fear got you.
Fear of trusting your writing, fear of finishing something, fear of failure, fear of ridicule when someone reads it, and so on.
Fear comes out like this: “You’re not good enough. What makes you think you could ever write at a national level? Or even finish something as big as a novel?”
Bam, you’re going to find reasons to miss a session, miss your weekly goal, and at that point months will go by because you let the fear voice win.
You can’t even get past Heinlein’s Rule #1. You must write. But this fear has stopped you and at the end of 2010 you will be very disappointed with yourself.
On to another example.
Example: You stop on a project because it’s garbage and start another one, and then again and again. You’re hitting all your weekly page goals, but never finishing anything and mailing it. Why? Fear.
On this one, Heinlein’s Rule #2 plays big. You have this deep fear of being laughed at, that your writing isn’t good enough, that people will stop you and your writing, so it’s just easier to stop yourself.
Want another example? There are thousands.
Example: You get past the fear in the last two examples all right, and finish a novel. Great. It’s an event, right, it’s important because it took you a lot of time to write it, right? Nope, it’s just a story, but you need, you MUST rewrite it, polish it, make it PERFECT. Right?
Why? Because of fear, that’s why. The rewriting myth is just fear based and that’s why it’s so deep.
Heinlein’s Rule #3 is that you should only rewrite to editorial demand. So, you have to have the courage, the trust in your own ability to mail it to an editor. You spell check it, give it to a first reader, only fix what they say needs fixing, and then mail it to editors.
Fear comes smashing in for many of you with me just saying those words. But let me look at what you are afraid of.
— Fear: Death of some sort. Nope. No editor will come to your house and shoot you if you don’t give them a perfect book that is perfect for their line and has every word perfect. Nope, never happens, no matter what beginning writers think.
—Fear: Blacklisting for bad writing. An editor will see your horrid writing and remember you and blacklist you forever. The ugly truth is that editors can barely remember all the writers’ names they buy from, let alone the thousands of books they glance at and don’t take. No one remembers out there unless you do something stupid like insult them. You act like a professional, send them a book, and if it doesn’t fit what they are looking for, they will reject it and that’s it. They won’t remember you or even think about you. Nothing all to be afraid of because you have it on many other editor’s desks, remember? One of them will show good taste and buy it eventually.
The fear that everything you write must be perfect is a killer. No story is perfect, no book is perfect. Doesn’t happen. And who would be the person to say it was perfect anyway? A book I love by an author I love to read is hated by my friends who think it’s the worst thing written. Nothing is ever perfect, folks. Sorry to break that bubble.
So Heinlein’s Rule #3 shouts directly at this fear. I dare you, spend a year not rewriting to death everything you do and just mail the stories after fixing details a first reader finds. You might be stunned at the results. You are a ton better writer than you are a rewriter and I can say that without even knowing most of you out there. It’s just the way it works.
Oh, oh, another example.
Example: Book is done, sitting on your desk, you’re pounding along on a new one, meeting your page goals just fine and dandy, and months go by and the first book sits there. I personally know of writers who have up to a dozen books just sitting, not in the mail to anyone. Why? Yup, you guessed it. Fear.
This breaking of Heinlein’s Rule #4 comes about like this: I don’t have the time right now to mail it, I need to do “market research” before I can mail it, I don’t feel that good about that book, and so on and so on. I’ve heard them all and said a bunch of them myself.
This is the place that I fall down at times. I tend to write stories and novels and then not mail them. Now, granted, every novel I have finished is now in the mail to editors in one form or another. But not every short story. In fact, I would guess I have a good dozen new stories that have never been mailed, or only mailed once or twice. That’s getting fixed with my new challenge to myself. In fact, in the last week I have mailed eight stories, a number brand new, a couple never out before. But why do I do that? Why do other writers do that? Fear, plain and simple. I have no issue with Heinlein’s first three rules, but rule #4 and #5 are where my focus sometimes fails.
How does it come about in my head, this fear? It has a simple phrase: “What’s the point. It’s too weird, no one is going to buy it.”
Of course, I don’t know that unless I mail it.
The other night, sitting around a wonderful dinner with four other professional writers, I made a comment about how hard Heinlein’s Rules are to follow and my wife, Kristine Kathryn Rusch, turned to me and said simply, “I have always followed them and still do.”
And, of course, she was the most successful writer sitting at the table. Damn, how many times do I have to shove back this fear issue for myself and climb back into the game? It seems, all the time.
So watch for the fear in these goals. It will stop you at one stage or another, or maybe at a bunch of places along the way through the year. It comes in sideways, it’s triggered sometimes by friends and family, but most of the time it is just a simple twisting in the stomach that makes you stop doing what you know is right and do something else, often without thinking about it.
And I have a hunch that just reading this post twisted a lot of stomachs out there, not because the writing sucked, but because I said something that hit home and that you don’t agree with it. Fine to not agree with these rantings, fine to do something else with your writing. No problem by me. But make sure you are acting from a clear reason that works for you, not from simple fear.
Fear. It really is the elephant in the room that you have to eat one bite at a time.
Cheers, Dean
Hey Dean,
Been following these post (as I do you blog all year) but I am especially enjoying these again. For what its worth I figured I’d post my year-end numbers hoping they will be helpful to others reading this. As you might expect, they inculde the good, the bad and the ugly.
My writing goal for 2009 was to focus on my novel writing; both marketing and production in the hopes of achieving my dream of being a published novelist.
My production goal was to write 300,000 new words of fiction, or 3 new novels. I fell short, writing only 116, 900 new words and producing only one new novel. Part of the reason for that was I re-drafted a previously written novel based on an editor’s feedback. She requested a full manuscript, read it and rejected it but gave me both comprehensive feedback (which I agreed with) and a willingness to look at a revised version. It is currently on her desk.
So in someways I did “write” 2 novels this year but I’m only counting one as new.
As for marketing, here are my numbers.
I’ve written six novels since the Masters Class in 2003 (scary it’s been that long). One, my first, is a trunk story for many, many reasons. The others I have been actively marketing (off and on –see your fear post and blame procrastination, frustration and life rolls for that) over the years.
As for this year, I submitted –
199 novel queries (usually including a 1-pg synopsis)
I have received —
27 actual rejections. The rest are all non-responses.
I have received 5 requests for full manuscripts, 2 of these have been rejected, 1 has been re-submitted (see above) and the others are on editors desks, including 2 with major NY houses (hopefully being read).
… I have also submitted 2 full manuscripts to professional contests.
Not sure what to make of all that except I have done all I can that I have control over (writing the best I can write and submitting) and to keep pounding out the queries for 2010 until someone buys. So, I plan to submit at least 1 query per day, every day, in 2010 and I will continue to write, with a goal once again of 3 new novels in 2010.
Thanks for doing these posts and providing this forum, a great place to exchange of information and ideas.. Wishing you and Kris a very happy, healthy and productive New Year.
These have all been very close to my personal mark, Dean, but the Fear Factor is particularly near and dear to my heart.
I feel that way with every project. It pops up faster than mushrooms after a warm rain. Leans over my shoulder and grins an evil grin and says, Yo, Steve! What on Earth makes you think anybody would plunk down their hard-earned money for this piece of crap you have produced? Are you crazy?
Every time. Starts with Chapter Eleven Intellectual Bankruptcy, fades, comes back at the end of the second act, wanes, and returns in full battle array after the draft is done.
Every time.
The terrifying fantasy: I ship the novel. A few weeks go by. My phone rings. My editor. She says, “Pretty funny, Steve. Now, where’s the real book … ?”
I know this feeling is coming, and the way to beat it is not not pretend I don’t feel it, but to keep going anyhow.
This feeling, too, will pass.
It’s a little easier once you have a track record: How the hell can I finish this book when I don’t have anything left to say?
The ego rack helps here. Look up at the published array. Well. I finished those somehow, I can finish this one, too …
I think the term is “muddle through.” Keep going, and if you need to fix something, you can always do a rewrite. Generally, though, if you keep moving, there’s not as much to fix as you worried about when you get done.
(Aside: I was on a panel with Ursula once, and somebody asked us, did we feel uncomfortable when we revisited an old novel we’d written and noticed how bad it was compared to how we write now? Ursula and I looked at each other, and both of us allowed as how, No, actually, we were usually surprised at how good we thought it was …)
You know Dean, I’ve been shot at. Twice. Been married three times (And which is more frightening, I can’t tell you honestly). Found myself giving CPR to a drunk that took one punch too many in the chest.
You’d think that simple writing fear wouldn’t get to me, but each and every case listed above is true for me. Thanks for the timely reminder, sir.
I’m not trying to cater to fear, but there’s a question I’ve been wanting to ask.
Research. Do you do this before, during, or after your writing time at the keyboard? I’ve done it before and during, and when I do it during, my tendency is only to look up what I need to keep me writing, and to not let it derail my writing session. It has occasionally derailed my writing, but that hasn’t happened very often.
I ask this question because I’ve read that some writers do all, or at least most, of their research before they start writing a story. I’ve also read that some do it after. I’ve also seen a video by one who would have research books sitting beside her as she was writing.
David, good numbers, but write me off list. I have a marketing suggestion for you for the coming year. You are closer than you think. Now is the time to double the effort and keep pounding, and read Steve Perry’s comment as well.
Steve, thanks!!! I can’t begin to tell you how good it makes me feel that a writer of your level and talent feels the same damn way I do every book. You would think after all the books you and I have written, this would go away, but you are spot on, it never does. I just finished a novel proposal and chapters for a project, came out of my office and actually said to Kris “I don’t know why I bothered with that. It’s totally stupid.” Thankfully Kris started laughing and I realized what I had said. I’m writing about this, trying to help others realize what happens, and yet here it comes out of my own mouth when it comes to my own writing. Sigh…
And yes, I agree completely. Long term professional writers just always keep going. We may get stopped for short periods, but we just muddle on through, and I’m with you and Ursula, when forced to look back at something I wrote a long time ago, I’m always surprised how much better it is than I thought it was.
Thanks for the comments. Very much appreciated.
Research is a wonderful time waster that we all love to do. But it’s not writing. And no correct way to do it other than not let it get in the way of your writing time. I always have books spread out on both sides of my computer and on the floor when doing a research-heavy project. And I have white boards above my writing computer on two walls and I am always marking down character names, descriptions, time-lines and crap like that on the board so that at a glance I can keep something straight.
Some writers open second files with all the details in it and when something is said in the story, they add it to their file. I’m just a note taker and scratcher on boards, but the key is to never, ever let research stop your writing.
If nothing else, MAKE IT UP! IT’S FICTION!
(I love shouting that in workshops when the research excuse jumps up. Sorry.)
By the way, on the topic of research, I was writing a story about the Alamo a few weeks back and used the term Bexter to describe the town. It confused my first reader, so I put in San Antonio instead, even though wrong for the time period. Got to remember when and what your readers know or think they know and keep things clear to current readers. But because the story demanded it, I did spend a lot of time explaining how really large the Alamo compound was because so many people think it was just that little church that sat in one corner. Since the size was important to the story, I had to spend time on it for current readers.
Research and the amount needed always goes back to reader expectations. Just don’t lose writing time doing it.
If nothing else, MAKE IT UP! IT’S FICTION!
(I love shouting that in workshops when the research excuse jumps up. Sorry. )
Good point. Made me laugh.
I understand about not letting research get in the way. I’ve a quote from E. L. Doctorow that I keep in front of me at my desk: “Planning to write is not writing. Outlining, researching, talking to people about what you’re doing, none of that is writing. Writing is writing.”
My biggest failing at this point, actually, is with rules 4 and 5. That’s really where my focus will be for 2010, although my goals are going to be far more comprehensive than that. I’m incorporating keeping track of my own streak in my goals, and I’ll also utilize that point system you mentioned.
Also, on the point you and Steve made, re: I’m with you and Ursula, when forced to look back at something I wrote a long time ago, I’m always surprised how much better it is than I thought it was.
I’ve had this happen myself. I can distinctly remember picking up something in my office several years ago, reading it, and thinking, “Hey, this is good stuff. Who wrote it?” It actually took me a couple of minutes before I realized it was something I had written several years earlier.
It’s official, Dean. I’m addicted to your blog.
Fear stopped me for many years. I’d been writing for about 18 years before I let anyone read anything I wrote. Then wrote for anther couple years before I finally got over the fear of submitting work.
Fear also put an 8 month gap in writing my last novel. I started it, got halfway through in about 10 days, thought I must be writing crap because it was going so fast, and stopped. I was also afraid of writing the darker/tougher half of the novel. (I got over this, finally. For this novel at least).
yeah, not a fan of fear. Hopefully can work through it for the current projects and for mailing the finished ones
Guilty as charged. I have a book, sitting on my hard drive that I never mailed out. My excuse? You guessed it, I think it needs to be polished up and replotted. But really, I’m absolutely terrified to mail it out. People will hate it, I’ll be laughed at, etc. etc. Never mind I finished a book which is more than I can say for 90% of people out there. It scares the hell out of me.
My goal for this year is 100 rejections or a sale, whichever comes first. Hopefully it will help me overcome my fear.
I’m actually more scared of “doing it wrong” than of getting rejected. That is, submitting the novel in the wrong way, to the wrong person/place/thing. The end result is the same, though: nothing happens.
2010 is my year for mastering the submission process. First, submitting novels (because that’s more important to me), then submitting short stories. If I do it wrong a few times…hopefully I’ll catch on an do it “more right” the next few times, and so on. =)
I’ve enjoyed this recent series of posts, Dean. Coincidentally, I had gone through last year’s similar posts just a week or so before you started recycling them. So I’ve had the refresher twice this month. I think I needed it twice.
Also, I wanted to thank you, Dean, for stressing (repeatedly) that we should submit to publishers/editors–not agents. I tripped over that a few years ago and got really frustrated about it.
Happy New Year, everybody!
-David
David, remember, I never said you didn’t need an agent after you got an offer. You do, and a good one to help with the contracts and negotiations and such. At http://www.kristinekathryrusch.com right now, Kris is doing a segment of her freelancer’s guide on negotiations. But you sure don’t need an agent to sell a book. That’s all I say. They system has really gotten screwed up when agents stop so many great novels for no reason other than opinion.
Cheers
Dean
Re: the agent thing (and I’ll admit up front I haven’t checked the archives yet for agent related posts), it seems to me there are a lot more agents to submit a novel to than publishers that will look at unsolicited manuscripts. I have a couple friends (both now successful enough to make their living from writing alone) who got agents before they sold their first books. They both write in the mystery/thriller genre (if that has any bearing). It just seems to me that publishers (outside of the smaller presses–and even some of them) won’t even look at unagented material.
So what am I missing? Or which post should I look at for this answer?
Seriously, dude, I’m going to have a hard time not letting catching up on your archives run into my writing time, which is coming up here in about 30 minutes. This stuff is too good. Wish I’d found it a long time ago.
Rob, always remember one thing. Agents can’t write you a check. They are your employee.
So why would you send a novel to an agent before you try to sell it?
Now, to answer your other questions (which is based on fear of doing something wrong), let me give you this lesson in corporate world.
–Publishing corporations are built on writers. Without writers, the companies would not exist.
–Editors make their careers by finding new writers who become successful and make the company money. Think corporation politics.
–Editor has a rule that says they will not read any unagented manuscript, yet there sits a manuscript that might be the next Twilight for all they know. They slap a form letter saying “no unagented manuscripts on it” without looking and it does become the next Twilight and it gets back to their bosses that they rejected it without looking, who gets fired?
–Editors have to fill book lines every month. If they don’t, they get fired.
–Agents are one person, one person’s taste. Nothing more, and they can’t write a check. Why let one person stop you? No reason to even have them in the loop until you have an offer, then you need one at once.
–Fear of not following a rule is a killer. If you don’t follow a rule, what can they do to you? When the New York publishers start coming to your house and shooting you in the kneecaps for sending them a manuscript, then worry. But until then, kill the fear and mail your stuff to people who can write you a check.
Cheers
Dean
Okay. I think I’m getting what you’re saying. And, frankly, I like what I hear.
So follow up questions:
Send editors the full manuscript, chapters and an outline, or a query letter? And do this electronically? (I notice a lot of places taking electronic subs nowadays.) Or regular mail?
I know a lot of this depends on the publisher, but if you’re sending to a publisher who claims not to want your book ’cause you don’t have an agent, they sure as heck aren’t going to post their submission guidelines in Writer’s Market. Right?
Rob, you’re looking for rules again. There are no right way of doing this, just what works, and every writer I will talk to would have a different opinion on what works and what doesn’t work.
Figure out how to be get your book, in an easy manner, where people will WANT to read it, meaning your proposal is not boring, your type size is not tiny, that sort of thing, and then let your story stand for itself.
And why would any of it depend on the publisher? Wow, a real need for rules I see. If you hope to be a freelance writer, you might want to start working on getting past that issue.
By the way, Kris and I teach an entire week-long workshop on marketing manuscripts, where we train you how to make your book sing in a proposal, factors as to when to hire an agent and when not to, history of this mess, and so much more. See the workshop tab on this site.
To illustrate one point about rules, one novel will require, by its content, a certain type of proposal to present it best, another novel will require a different type of proposal and presentation to present in it’s best light. If you lock into one way of doing it, you might be right for one book, one publisher, but wrong all the rest of the time. That won’t give your book a fair shot at all. Might as well send it to fifty scam agents who charge reading fees for all the chance you would be giving it. This rule-locked thinking is why so many, many good books don’t get bought.
Okay, I have been properly chastened about my need for rules.
So how come there are so many “respected” sources that spout the “rules” of submission (i.e. pretty much every article and How-To… book from Writer’s Digest)? I’m not much of a conspiracy theorist, but it sounds like a massive effort to keep new writers from getting published.
And I promise to now stop monopolizing this comment thread. Will check out the workshop. Sounds like something I could use.
Rob,
When thinking Writer’s Digest (or anything in publishing) think of the source and their market. Their market is not to published or near published writers. There aren’t that many of us, not enough to sustain a magazine and advertisers. They must aim at the want-to-be hobby writers to get their base, so that’s where everything goes at. And second, caution on that. Those ads and articles, just because they are in Writer’s Digest, are not necessarily good. In fact, many of their ads are for scam agents and scam book doctors. Only real book doctors are people who you never hear about, who are pro writers or long term editors, who are hired by New York and are very expensive and paid for by the publisher. Money always flows to the writer. Only real rule in this business. (and the exception on that is continuing education.)
Is any of this a conspiracy to keep anyone from getting published? No, of course not. It’s actually a ton easier these days than it ever has been in the history of publishing, no matter what the idiots screaming say. We are in a new golden age of short fiction, and there are more books published every year than the year before, and someone has to write them. What the agent system as it stands today (which is very different than 20 years ago) does is simply keep much of the garbage from flooding into publisher’s offices. The more closed doors and rules that can be set up, the smarter a writer needs to be to get his work read. Does this system cut out some good work? Yes, I’m afraid it does.
The problem with this system is that first it’s broken. An outside company can’t force me to hire an employee. No other business works like that and this one doesn’t work either, and is starting to show major cracks. Second, an entire generation of young editors, too young to know any other system, came into this mess in the last ten years, jumped to agenting, and are now blogging and giving advice about it all. Of course, unless they get lucky, they will go out of business. An agent only makes 15% of what they sell, and if they are spending all their time reading slush and having writers rewrite and all that other crap, how can they pay for their rent? Thus, finally, the system is catching up and will bring many of them down. You are already hearing about agent after agent quitting the business. Of course, the scam agents make their money off of reading and “editing” fees. Money always flows to the writer. That rule will keep you away from those idiots.
Okay, I’m going to have to make it to one of the Marketing Workshops. I clearly have no idea how the selling part works. Lots of misinformation jangling around in my head. I’ve got two novels I did the agent-query-go-round with to no effect. Perhaps there is still hope for them yet.
Thanks for all the good info. You’re like the Mythbusters guys for the publishing industry.
I just want to say how much this post in particual has helped me as an aspiring writer. My biggest fear with writing is whether or not my writing is any good. To see Steve Perry say he often feels the same way blew my mind. (Perry??!! Seriously?!) It’s one thing to hear it from Dean, he could just be being humble. Also, if it was some Prima Donna who re-wrote everything fifty times, then yeah that would sound right. But Steve Perry? From what I’ve seen here and on his blog the guy is totally down to Earth and pratical (And hilliarious. And I’m not just saying that because of his incredibly cool first name.).
It almost seems like a good philosophy to have would be to follow Heinlein’s rules, have fun and not question the so-called quality of your work.
So with that in mind: my commitment in 2010 is to just write, enjoy the process and mail why I write without stressing so much wondering if I’m getting any better.
Does that sound right?
Cheers,
Steve
Steve L., sounds pretty good. But keep working at the same time to get better.
Don’t worry about it when you finish something, but work to make the next thing you write better. It’s all practice. Just wonderful practice and fun that sooner than later, they start paying you to practice.